it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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