Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize