Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
