the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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