You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
