You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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