i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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