some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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