tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
