I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
