I wish i was in the wii world.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
