I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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