dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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