what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
