they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
