I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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