The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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