I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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