It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
