yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
