Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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