elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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