it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize