Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize