help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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