i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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