your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
