Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
