not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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