Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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