He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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