oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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