Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
