Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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