She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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