What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
