and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
try to milk me bitch
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