Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
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I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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