i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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