GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
