she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
