Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
