I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
