Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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