So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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