I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
