hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
