This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize