You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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