She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
