Will you blow on my dice?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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