Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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