he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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