Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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