I think my fart just growled at me.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
